*Chapter Twenty-Three*
"The world is ending now it's beyond comprehending. My life is breaking apart, it's over and it never really began. But you make that feeling disapear when you whisper in my disheartened ear, It'll be okay."
posted by Christina at 8:43 AM
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"You always get strawberry icecream." I told Will when he picked out the flavor for his cone. "In a sugar cone."
"Hey, I know what I like." He said.
"Doesn't it get boring?" I asked.
"No. It's just icecream." He said, and paid the guy at the counter. We walked outside and sat under a tree on a bench. We didn't say much, just sat enjoying our icecream cones. I watched traffic go by and remembered the other times I had sat on the same bench. At least a dozen times in the past.
"What are you thinking about?" Will asked me.
"Simpler times." I told him.
"Simpler times. I almost forgot there was such a thing." he replied.
"Me too." I said.
We finished our icecream and drove to a small park nearby. It brought back breif memories of Charlie. He loved coming to the park and goofing off. It didn't hurt to think about those times. I looked up at Will and he was watching a group of kids pretending to wrestle in a sandbox.
"We would have had a boy." He said.
"You think so?" I asked him.
"Yeah. I don't know how I know. I just feel it." He said.
"I think so too." I told him, and took his hand. I watched him quickly wipe a tear from his eye, then pretend he was just rubbing it.
"Lets walk around." I told him.
"Okay." He said. We walked through the park watching people and families. It a Sunday in early summer, so a lot of people were out.
"My god woke up on the wrong side of the bed." I said.
"What?" Will asked me.
"Oasis. Little by Little." I told him.
"OH." He said.
"Sorry. Just popped in my head. I guess that's how I feel sometimes." I told him.
"Me too. Can we go somwhere a little more private?" He asked me.
"Yeah, sure. Where?" I asked him. He just shrugged. I walked with him to his car and we drove off. He headed out of town, out past the House Of Blues. I just sat in silence admiring all the beautiful Utah scenery. He pulled into a small rest stop that was about 15 minutes out of town and parked.
"Come on." He said, getting out. We walked behind the rest area and followed a trail that winded around all through the property, and went a little ways up a small hill. He went off the trail, and I followed him to a big flat rock that was hidden from the road and the view from the rest stop. He sat down, and I sat next to him.
"I can't do this anymore." He said, not looking at me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him.
"Anything! I can't do anything anymore! I always think of you, and what we could have had." He said. I noticed his eyes watering.
"Oh Will." I said, and held his hand again. I started crying too.
"It'll never be okay again." He said.
"It will." I told him.
"How do you know?" He asked.
"I just do. Things will never be the same, but they will eventualy be okay. I freind told me, and I trust him." I said.
"I miss you." He said.
"I miss you too. I'm sorry about everything." I told him.
"Don't say you're sorry. It wasn't your fault." He said.
"I feel like it is. Like everything is." I told him.
"Why did you run away?" He asked me bluntly.
"Because-" I stopped to think about it. "Because I was afraid. I thought I killed Charlie. That I might as well have been the one to slit his wrists. I was afraid I'd hurt another friend." I told him.
"It wasn't your fault." Will said.
"Do you think if I had stayed here I would have been able to keep the baby?" I asked him.
"I don't know. But don't think about it too much. It'll just cause you more pain." He said.
"I know. I'm sorry." I said. I looked up at him and his eyes were all red, and his cheeks were wet with tears. I scooted over too him, put my arms around his neck and layed my head on his shoulder.
"Will, do you copy?" I asked, mimicking how we used to talk when were just kids. We were neighbors and had walkie talkies to talk back and forth with at night. He smiled.
"Robby to Will. Do you copy?" I said again, and his smile got bigger.
"Copy." He said.
"Important message from Robby to Will, you can't lose it. And Don't forget it. Do you understand?" I asked.
"Affirmative." He said.
"Will, everything will be okay." I told him. It was meant for me just as much as it was meant for him.
"Affirmative." He said.
"Good. Robby Over and out." I said. He put his arms around me and we hugged each other tightly. We sat up on that rock for a while, talking about old times and laughing.
"Let's go to the arcade." He said.
"Let's! I want to kick your ass." I told him.
"You can TRY!" He said, and we both stood up.
"Race you!" I shouted, and started running down to the car.
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