I was startled awake by someones hand over my mouth. "Shhhh!" Someone whispered. I looked up and it was Luke. "Come on." He said, motioning for me to follow him. I gently moved Simon's hand from around my waist and slid off the couch. "What?" I asked. "Shhhhh." He said, and took my hand. He handed me a flannel shirt and pointed to my shoes. I put them on then he took my hand and we tiptoed outside. "What is it?" I asked. I was exhausted from the night before. The party had only wound down a few hours ago. "I just wanted to talk to you. I was going to see about spending an afternoon or something with you, but I couldn't wait." He said. "Wait for what?" I asked him. We walked to the small playground and sat down on the swings. "Do you think we ever had a chance?" He asked me. "Luke, not again-" I said, but he held up his hand and I stopped. "I don't mean for it to sound like that. I'm just curious." He said. I just shrugged. "Caleb gets jealous of you sometimes." He said. "What?" I asked. "He knows I still have feelings for you. He has nothing to worry about, but I guess it still bugs him." He said. "Oh." Was all I said. "Luke, was this why you brought me out here? Because I'm tired." I said, and yawned. "No. Actualy it was about Charlie." He said. "What about him?" I asked, staring at the ground. "I have these dreams- well I think they are dreams. They feel real. Its hard to explain." He said. "I think I know what you mean." I told him. "I tried to talk to Abby about it, but she has been so preoccupied with Carl and the wedding. Charlie will come and talk to me and stuff. We laugh like old times. He'll tell me to look after you. In fact, when Caleb and I came out, just before you lost the baby, it was because Charlie told me too. He said that you were about to have something tragic happened and you needed one of your old friends to take care of you." He said. "What?" I asked. "It sounds crazy, I know." He said. "Forget I brought it up." "No. It's not crazy. Well I thought it was, when happened to me." I told him. "You too?" He asked, looking thrilled. I think it made him feel less insane. "Yes. In fact I saw the whole wedding...a few days before it happened...in a dream or whatever it was. But at first it was me and Charlie standing up there getting married." I told him. "He comes to see me all the time. It's like I'm halucinating or something, but I'm not. I thought I was crazy until the other night! I was here and Charlie came to see me. He gave me my radiohead braclet, which I had left back home." I said, holding up my wrist that held the braclet. "Huh." Luke said. "What?" I asked. "He pulled out his wallet, fished around in it, then held up a white quitar pic that had been autographed by someone. "He got this when he saw Oasis years back. When we were packing up his things after- after he died, I found it. I lost it soon after though. He gave it to me. This morning I woke up and it was in my hand. In fact it was his idea that I talk to you." Luke said. "Talk to me about what?" I asked. "I don't know. About him I guess." Luke said. "Luke, you were his best friend. You guys did everything together, are you having a hard time getting over his death?" I asked. I saw Luke start to tear up. "Maybe he is stuck because we can't let him go." I said. Luke looked away, and covered his face with his hands. He was crying, and it made me want to cry, but I did my best to hold it in. I stood up from my swing and walked over to luke. I pulled him up off the swing and hugged him. "It's okay." I told him. "I tried everything to help Charlie. At the end I hated him. For what he did to you, and to Abby years before. I hated him, so I started pushing him away. Now I feel like I would give anything to have him back." He said. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore, and I started crying with Luke. "I feel the same way." I told him. "Luke look at me." He turned his head and looked in my eyes. "Yeah?" He asked. "It'll be okay. Charlie told me that, and I believe him." I said. "I know. He told me too." Luke said. I stood up on my toes and kissed Luke. He put his arms around me and held me while we kissed. It was amazing. My heart beat fast, and my stomach fluttered as I thought of past memories with Luke. I stopped and looked in his eyes. "What was that?" I asked him. "I don't know." He said, looking just as confused as me. "We should go back." I told him. "Yeah, we should." He said, and hugged me. We both started crying again. We stood there for a while before we walked back to the condo. The sun had almost fully risen. I looked at the horizon and thought about how hard it was really going to be to leave again. I realized too that when I left for California I wasn't just running away from Charlie. I was running away from everyone, everything, and every bad feeling and memory I had. We got to the front door and I sighed. Luke let go of my hand, hugged me and kissed my forehead. "Do you think he's right?" He asked me. "About what?" I asked. "About everything being okay." He said. "Yeah. I do." I said, believing it for the first time. We walked inside, and everyone was still sound asleep. I laughed when I saw my ex Chase curled up with my friend Rio on the floor. "Look at that!" I said, pointing at them. Luke laughed. We both laughed even harder when Rio snorted in her sleep. "Shhhh! Don't wake everyone up." I said. Luke rushed back to his room, trying not to laugh out loud. I just giggled and layed back down on the coucn next to Simon. He squeezed me and kissed my neck. I just smiled and drifted back to sleep, thinking about everyone I needed to see and everything I needed to get closer for, before I left again.
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I was startled awake by someones hand over my mouth.
"Shhhh!" Someone whispered. I looked up and it was Luke.
"Come on." He said, motioning for me to follow him. I gently moved Simon's hand from around my waist and slid off the couch.
"What?" I asked.
"Shhhhh." He said, and took my hand. He handed me a flannel shirt and pointed to my shoes. I put them on then he took my hand and we tiptoed outside.
"What is it?" I asked. I was exhausted from the night before. The party had only wound down a few hours ago.
"I just wanted to talk to you. I was going to see about spending an afternoon or something with you, but I couldn't wait." He said.
"Wait for what?" I asked him. We walked to the small playground and sat down on the swings.
"Do you think we ever had a chance?" He asked me.
"Luke, not again-" I said, but he held up his hand and I stopped.
"I don't mean for it to sound like that. I'm just curious." He said. I just shrugged.
"Caleb gets jealous of you sometimes." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"He knows I still have feelings for you. He has nothing to worry about, but I guess it still bugs him." He said.
"Oh." Was all I said. "Luke, was this why you brought me out here? Because I'm tired." I said, and yawned.
"No. Actualy it was about Charlie." He said.
"What about him?" I asked, staring at the ground.
"I have these dreams- well I think they are dreams. They feel real. Its hard to explain." He said.
"I think I know what you mean." I told him.
"I tried to talk to Abby about it, but she has been so preoccupied with Carl and the wedding. Charlie will come and talk to me and stuff. We laugh like old times. He'll tell me to look after you. In fact, when Caleb and I came out, just before you lost the baby, it was because Charlie told me too. He said that you were about to have something tragic happened and you needed one of your old friends to take care of you." He said.
"What?" I asked.
"It sounds crazy, I know." He said. "Forget I brought it up."
"No. It's not crazy. Well I thought it was, when happened to me." I told him.
"You too?" He asked, looking thrilled. I think it made him feel less insane.
"Yes. In fact I saw the whole wedding...a few days before it happened...in a dream or whatever it was. But at first it was me and Charlie standing up there getting married." I told him. "He comes to see me all the time. It's like I'm halucinating or something, but I'm not. I thought I was crazy until the other night! I was here and Charlie came to see me. He gave me my radiohead braclet, which I had left back home." I said, holding up my wrist that held the braclet.
"Huh." Luke said.
"What?" I asked.
"He pulled out his wallet, fished around in it, then held up a white quitar pic that had been autographed by someone.
"He got this when he saw Oasis years back. When we were packing up his things after- after he died, I found it. I lost it soon after though. He gave it to me. This morning I woke up and it was in my hand. In fact it was his idea that I talk to you." Luke said.
"Talk to me about what?" I asked.
"I don't know. About him I guess." Luke said.
"Luke, you were his best friend. You guys did everything together, are you having a hard time getting over his death?" I asked. I saw Luke start to tear up.
"Maybe he is stuck because we can't let him go." I said. Luke looked away, and covered his face with his hands. He was crying, and it made me want to cry, but I did my best to hold it in. I stood up from my swing and walked over to luke. I pulled him up off the swing and hugged him.
"It's okay." I told him.
"I tried everything to help Charlie. At the end I hated him. For what he did to you, and to Abby years before. I hated him, so I started pushing him away. Now I feel like I would give anything to have him back." He said. I couldn't hold my tears back anymore, and I started crying with Luke.
"I feel the same way." I told him. "Luke look at me." He turned his head and looked in my eyes.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"It'll be okay. Charlie told me that, and I believe him." I said.
"I know. He told me too." Luke said. I stood up on my toes and kissed Luke. He put his arms around me and held me while we kissed. It was amazing. My heart beat fast, and my stomach fluttered as I thought of past memories with Luke. I stopped and looked in his eyes.
"What was that?" I asked him.
"I don't know." He said, looking just as confused as me.
"We should go back." I told him.
"Yeah, we should." He said, and hugged me. We both started crying again. We stood there for a while before we walked back to the condo. The sun had almost fully risen. I looked at the horizon and thought about how hard it was really going to be to leave again. I realized too that when I left for California I wasn't just running away from Charlie. I was running away from everyone, everything, and every bad feeling and memory I had. We got to the front door and I sighed. Luke let go of my hand, hugged me and kissed my forehead.
"Do you think he's right?" He asked me.
"About what?" I asked.
"About everything being okay." He said.
"Yeah. I do." I said, believing it for the first time. We walked inside, and everyone was still sound asleep. I laughed when I saw my ex Chase curled up with my friend Rio on the floor.
"Look at that!" I said, pointing at them. Luke laughed. We both laughed even harder when Rio snorted in her sleep.
"Shhhh! Don't wake everyone up." I said. Luke rushed back to his room, trying not to laugh out loud. I just giggled and layed back down on the coucn next to Simon. He squeezed me and kissed my neck. I just smiled and drifted back to sleep, thinking about everyone I needed to see and everything I needed to get closer for, before I left again.
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