Three or four days had gone by without me hearing from Simon. Connie hadn't even called me. I started to worry that I might have upset them. I thought about as I stood in the steamy hot shower. When I was done I shut off the water, and climbed out. When I was drying off I heard music coming from the apartment. It sounded like a guitar. I closed my eyes to focus on it, but the sound stopped. "I'm going insane." I said, wiping the steam from the mirror. I dried my hair off, and wrapped the towel around me. Then I heard it again. I slowly cracked the door, and I knew for a fact I could hear someone playing a guitar. I listend to the tune and placed the song. My heart sank, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I heard someone start to sing very softly. "Today is gonna be the day That they're gonna throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do I don't believe that anybody Feels the way I do about you now." I gasped. "Charlie?" I whispered to myself. "I'm going fucking crazy." I remembered that when I moved I brought the acoustic guitar I gave him a few weeks before he died with me. It was in my closet though. I started crying when I listened to the singing again. It was a little louder now. "And all the roads we have to walk along are winding And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you I don't know how" I took a deep breath, and opened up the door. I walked out and swore I saw Charlie sitting on my couch. My tears felt hot on my cheeks. "Because maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all You're my wonderwall." After the last line he looked at me. "Are you okay?" He said, standing up. I shook my head and realized I was looking at Simon. He walked over and hugged me, and I started crying in his arms. "You look like you saw a ghost." He said. "I did." I told him. "Why were you playing?" I asked, horrified. "What do you mean?" He asked. "That is Charlies! Why where you playing it?" I asked, crying even harder. "I'm sorry! I saw it poking out of the closet, so I picked it up. I used to have one like it." He said, holding me tighter. "Why did you have to play that fucking song?" I asked him, wiping my eyes. "It's my favorite song. I'm sorry." He said, and lead me over to the couch. I sat down, and he put the blanket around me. I just then realized I was only in my towel and still kind of wet. "Was that Charlie's song too?" He asked me. "Yeah." I said. "I didn't know. I'm really sorry." He said. "It's okay." I told him, and rested my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me. "Want to talk about it?" He asked. "Charlie was one of my closest friends. No one ever made me feel as alive or as happy as he did. Then we slept together. It caused more problems then I can even count. I guess it was the start of everything. Charlie started developing this weird obsession with me. He didn't want to be with me...I dont think he loved me. He was just obsessed. I was there when he killed himself, Simon. I was in the house. It was my fault." I told him, and started quietly crying. A few days before he tried to rape me. He just about did, but Travis, one of the guys I was kind of seeing, got there in time. JUST in time." "Oh my god! Well, he deserves what he did to himself then!" Simon said. "NO! DON'T SAY THAT!" I shouted. "He didn't mean too. I hated him that day. I HATED him. That day I started to pack up my things. I wanted to run away. I decided to stop bye and say good bye to Charlie. Maybe even give him a piece of my mind. I did. I was too stupid to see that he was going to kill himself. I knew something was wrong. I KNEW!" I said, and started sobbing. I continued when I caught my breath. I went outside, and when I came back in I found him. I watched him die." I finished. "No. That is so horrible." Simon said. "But it isn't your fault." "I know. I was so angry at him, but holding him in my arms, I only wanted him to live. I forgave him for everything that moment. No one ever made me feel as alive as Charlie. He made me feel like the world was mine! He was a mad man, but I loved him. I still miss him." I said. "It's okay to." Simon whispered. "You're shaking. I'll go walk to the store to get some warm coffee and maybe some hot soup for you, okay? You get dressed so you don't freeze to death." He said. I nodded, and he got up and left. I cried the whole time I was getting dressed. I sat down on the couch and picked up the guitar. I played a few simple chords, and closed my eyes and imagined Charlie. I hadn't gotten over him, but I was getting there. I felt better after getting all of that out, and even smiled when I thought of Simon. I got up to put the quitar back in the closet, but I changed my mind, and set it beside the TV. I Wanted to keep it out. Simon got back a few minutes later with some soup, and two cups of coffee. We ate, and sat on the couch together drinking the coffee. "Thank you Simon." I told him. "I care a lot about you Robyn. I know we don't know each other that well, but I care about you." He said. I looked over at him and smiled. "I'm trying to move on, I really am." I told him. "You are still confused. I can understand why now. Just take your time, and promise me you'll stick around here a little longer." He said. "I will. I promise." I told him. He put his arm around me, and pulled me close to kiss my forehead. "I'm taking you to a very special place. It's where I go when I'm depressed or sad." He said, standing up.
I felt silly sitting in his car with a bandana tied around my eyes. He said it was a surprise though. I felt the car stop, and heard him get out. My door opened, and I felt him take my arm. "Come on. We're almost there." He said. I giggled, and let him help me out of the car. He lead me to a spot, turned me, and then told me to close my eyes. I did, and he took off the blindfold. I opened my eyes, and smiled instantly. We were up on a small cliff looking out over the water. He lead me down onto to the huge slipper rocks below, making sure I didn't slip. We sat down on one of the bigger rocks, and gazed out over the water. There were a few boats out there. "This is beautiful." I whispered. "It's my favorite place in the whole world." He said. "Mine too." I told him. I was sitting between his legs, leaning back onto him, and he had his arms wrapped around me. "I don't want this to end." I told him. I closed my eyes, then felt his lips touch mine. I kissed him for a little while, letting him hold me in his arms. He stopped and we watched the ocean, and the seagulls for a really long time. Untill the sun started to get lower in the sky. "We should go back. It's cooling off." He whispered in my ear. It sent chills up my spine. "Okay." I answered. We got up and climbed back up to his car. He held my hand all the way back to my apartment. "I'll see you around." He said, as I climbed out of the car. "Come in." I told him, and smiled. "Are you sure?" He asked. I just nodded, and he got out and followed me inside. He sat down on my couch, and I walked over to my stereo, turning it on. I had Radiohead in there. I took Simon's hand and pulled him off the couch. "What are you doing?" He asked me. "Dancing." I told him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck, and we danced. "I've never danced to Radiohead before." He said, and I laughed. "Neither have I. You are a good dancer anyway." I told him. "Creep" Started to play, and I laughed. "Okay, this song is too wierd." I told him, and he laughed. I walked over to my stearo and put in a 90's mix tape I had. Jumber by Third Eye Blind came on. "I can dance to this." He said, and pulled me back over to him. He held me close and sang the song while we danced. I kept giggling. No Rain by Blind Melon came on next. "Holy shit! I havn't heard these songs in a few years." He said. "Me either. Keep dancing." I told him. He laughed, and we danced some more. I rested my head on his chest, and he rested his cheek on top of my head. When the song ended, I looked up at him and kissed him. I stopped and looked at him. "What?" He asked. "I just thought of something you said the other day." I told him. "What is that?" He asked. "I want to find out what happens between us." I said, and smiled. He smiled back and kissed me again.
*Chapter Seven*
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Three or four days had gone by without me hearing from Simon. Connie hadn't even called me. I started to worry that I might have upset them. I thought about as I stood in the steamy hot shower. When I was done I shut off the water, and climbed out. When I was drying off I heard music coming from the apartment. It sounded like a guitar. I closed my eyes to focus on it, but the sound stopped.
"I'm going insane." I said, wiping the steam from the mirror. I dried my hair off, and wrapped the towel around me. Then I heard it again. I slowly cracked the door, and I knew for a fact I could hear someone playing a guitar. I listend to the tune and placed the song. My heart sank, and I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I heard someone start to sing very softly.
"Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you By now you should've somehow Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now."
I gasped. "Charlie?" I whispered to myself. "I'm going fucking crazy." I remembered that when I moved I brought the acoustic guitar I gave him a few weeks before he died with me. It was in my closet though. I started crying when I listened to the singing again. It was a little louder now. "And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding There are many things that I would Like to say to you I don't know how"
I took a deep breath, and opened up the door. I walked out and swore I saw Charlie sitting on my couch. My tears felt hot on my cheeks.
"Because maybe You're gonna be the one who saves me? And after all
You're my wonderwall."
After the last line he looked at me.
"Are you okay?" He said, standing up. I shook my head and realized I was looking at Simon. He walked over and hugged me, and I started crying in his arms.
"You look like you saw a ghost." He said.
"I did." I told him. "Why were you playing?" I asked, horrified.
"What do you mean?" He asked.
"That is Charlies! Why where you playing it?" I asked, crying even harder.
"I'm sorry! I saw it poking out of the closet, so I picked it up. I used to have one like it." He said, holding me tighter. "Why did you have to play that fucking song?" I asked him, wiping my eyes.
"It's my favorite song. I'm sorry." He said, and lead me over to the couch. I sat down, and he put the blanket around me. I just then realized I was only in my towel and still kind of wet.
"Was that Charlie's song too?" He asked me.
"Yeah." I said.
"I didn't know. I'm really sorry." He said.
"It's okay." I told him, and rested my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around me.
"Want to talk about it?" He asked.
"Charlie was one of my closest friends. No one ever made me feel as alive or as happy as he did. Then we slept together. It caused more problems then I can even count. I guess it was the start of everything. Charlie started developing this weird obsession with me. He didn't want to be with me...I dont think he loved me. He was just obsessed. I was there when he killed himself, Simon. I was in the house. It was my fault." I told him, and started quietly crying. A few days before he tried to rape me. He just about did, but Travis, one of the guys I was kind of seeing, got there in time. JUST in time."
"Oh my god! Well, he deserves what he did to himself then!" Simon said.
"NO! DON'T SAY THAT!" I shouted. "He didn't mean too. I hated him that day. I HATED him. That day I started to pack up my things. I wanted to run away. I decided to stop bye and say good bye to Charlie. Maybe even give him a piece of my mind. I did. I was too stupid to see that he was going to kill himself. I knew something was wrong. I KNEW!" I said, and started sobbing. I continued when I caught my breath. I went outside, and when I came back in I found him. I watched him die." I finished.
"No. That is so horrible." Simon said. "But it isn't your fault."
"I know. I was so angry at him, but holding him in my arms, I only wanted him to live. I forgave him for everything that moment. No one ever made me feel as alive as Charlie. He made me feel like the world was mine! He was a mad man, but I loved him. I still miss him." I said.
"It's okay to." Simon whispered. "You're shaking. I'll go walk to the store to get some warm coffee and maybe some hot soup for you, okay? You get dressed so you don't freeze to death." He said. I nodded, and he got up and left. I cried the whole time I was getting dressed. I sat down on the couch and picked up the guitar. I played a few simple chords, and closed my eyes and imagined Charlie. I hadn't gotten over him, but I was getting there. I felt better after getting all of that out, and even smiled when I thought of Simon. I got up to put the quitar back in the closet, but I changed my mind, and set it beside the TV. I Wanted to keep it out. Simon got back a few minutes later with some soup, and two cups of coffee. We ate, and sat on the couch together drinking the coffee.
"Thank you Simon." I told him.
"I care a lot about you Robyn. I know we don't know each other that well, but I care about you." He said. I looked over at him and smiled.
"I'm trying to move on, I really am." I told him.
"You are still confused. I can understand why now. Just take your time, and promise me you'll stick around here a little longer." He said.
"I will. I promise." I told him. He put his arm around me, and pulled me close to kiss my forehead.
"I'm taking you to a very special place. It's where I go when I'm depressed or sad." He said, standing up.
I felt silly sitting in his car with a bandana tied around my eyes. He said it was a surprise though. I felt the car stop, and heard him get out. My door opened, and I felt him take my arm.
"Come on. We're almost there." He said. I giggled, and let him help me out of the car. He lead me to a spot, turned me, and then told me to close my eyes. I did, and he took off the blindfold. I opened my eyes, and smiled instantly. We were up on a small cliff looking out over the water. He lead me down onto to the huge slipper rocks below, making sure I didn't slip. We sat down on one of the bigger rocks, and gazed out over the water. There were a few boats out there.
"This is beautiful." I whispered.
"It's my favorite place in the whole world." He said.
"Mine too." I told him. I was sitting between his legs, leaning back onto him, and he had his arms wrapped around me.
"I don't want this to end." I told him. I closed my eyes, then felt his lips touch mine. I kissed him for a little while, letting him hold me in his arms. He stopped and we watched the ocean, and the seagulls for a really long time. Untill the sun started to get lower in the sky.
"We should go back. It's cooling off." He whispered in my ear. It sent chills up my spine.
"Okay." I answered. We got up and climbed back up to his car. He held my hand all the way back to my apartment.
"I'll see you around." He said, as I climbed out of the car.
"Come in." I told him, and smiled.
"Are you sure?" He asked. I just nodded, and he got out and followed me inside. He sat down on my couch, and I walked over to my stereo, turning it on. I had Radiohead in there. I took Simon's hand and pulled him off the couch.
"What are you doing?" He asked me.
"Dancing." I told him, wrapping his arms around my waist. I put my arms around his neck, and we danced.
"I've never danced to Radiohead before." He said, and I laughed.
"Neither have I. You are a good dancer anyway." I told him. "Creep" Started to play, and I laughed.
"Okay, this song is too wierd." I told him, and he laughed. I walked over to my stearo and put in a 90's mix tape I had. Jumber by Third Eye Blind came on.
"I can dance to this." He said, and pulled me back over to him. He held me close and sang the song while we danced. I kept giggling. No Rain by Blind Melon came on next.
"Holy shit! I havn't heard these songs in a few years." He said.
"Me either. Keep dancing." I told him. He laughed, and we danced some more.
I rested my head on his chest, and he rested his cheek on top of my head. When the song ended, I looked up at him and kissed him. I stopped and looked at him.
"What?" He asked.
"I just thought of something you said the other day." I told him.
"What is that?" He asked.
"I want to find out what happens between us." I said, and smiled. He smiled back and kissed me again.
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