"Robyn." I heard someone whisper. "Robyn." I opened my eyes. I had a really bad headache. Connie was leaning over me. She giggled and sat down on the couch at my feet. "You ladies want some coffee?" Trev asked as he walked into the room. I put my hand on my head and moaned. "Get her some water, hun." Connie said. I closed my eyes. "I think we went a little overboard on the Tequila last night." She said as she leaned down and rested her head on my side. I put my hand on her head. "Is that what that was?" I mumbled. The night before was slowly coming back to me. I remembered kissing someone. I was pretty sure it was Simon. "Did I kiss Simon last night?" I asked. She laughed. "Yeah. Quite a bit." She said. "Oh my god." I sighed. "What? You like him, don't you?" She asked. "What am I doing?" I asked. "I think you're allowed to have a night like that every so often, sweetie." She said. "Yeah I guess. . ." I said. Simon walked into the room. "I'm gonna head home." He said. He gave me a kiss. "Can I see you tonight?" He asked. "I've got plans tonight." I lied with a smile. "Oh." He said looking dissapointed. "Well, see ya." He said and left. I sighed. "He'll get over it." She said getting up. I got up. I heard him say goodbye to Trev, then leave. I was embarassed that I drank so much that I didn't even remember kissing him. I hoped and prayed that I didn't do anything more with him. I grabbed my purse and followed Connie to the kitchen area. "I'm gonna go home." I said. "Looks like you and Simon are hitting it off." Trev said. I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know if I'm staying in San Diego." I blurted out. "I thought about it a lot and I'm still not sure if this is where I want to settle down yet." "What?" Trev asked sounding shocked. "I don't think you realize how much Simon likes you." "This is about her." Connie said rudly. "Do not think about Simon when you make your decision." She said looking at me. She looked back at Trev. "They're not a couple, hun." He looked at me. "Yeah, not really." I said. "What?" He asked again looking confused. I felt like crying. "I gotta go." I said. I left and I could hear Connie yelling at Trev. I rushed home. I layed back on my bed and started crying. My cell phone started to ring. I looked at it. It was Rio. I picked it up quickly. "Oh my god, Rio." I said. "Robyn, what's wrong?" She asked, sounding concerned. "I don't know what I'm doing." I sobbed. "Girl, please tell me where you are. I miss you. I want to visit. Just for a few days. That's all I ask." She said. It sounded like she was starting to cry. "I'm fine, Rio. I swear to you. I am fine." I said. "I met a guy." "Please let me visit." She said. "Even if it's just one night. To hang out." "Okay. . ." I said. I told her where I lived and she said she was going to get the earliest flight she could. I hung up the phone and fixed up my apartment. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have her visit, but it would be nice to have a person around that knew me really well. I took a nap and woke up late in the day. I felt so much better. I decided to take a walk at the beach. The sun was starting to set after a while. I sat down and watched the surfers catch their last few waves, then head home. One of them started walking towards me. I stood up and realized it was Simon. "Hey you." He said. I smiled. "I thought you had plans." He said. "I do. I have a friend coming to visit. I was just about to go meet her at my apartment." I lied. "Are we cool?" He asked. "I get the feeling you are avoiding me." My phone rang and it was Rio. I answered it. "I'm here. In front of your apartment. What number are you?" She asked. "4C." I told her. "Be right there." I hung up. "She's here now." I told him. "Okay." He said. He went running down the shoreline. I watched him for a few seconds, then walked back to my apartment. When I got to my door, there was Rio. Her hair was much shorter and she had lost some weight. I felt like I hadn't seen her in years. She ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Luke misses you so much." She said. She let go of me and we went inside. "It's not much." I said. "It's great, Robyn." She said smiling. "Come back home, we all miss you." "Are you just hear for the night?" I asked. "Yup. Already have a ticket home for tomorrow evening. I know that you are moving on. I'm not going to get in the way of that." She said. "I guess I am just here to check in on you and make sure you are okay." "I'm doing great." I said. She smiled really big. "I'm so glad to hear that." "Thanks, Rio. You're a great friend." I said. I was afraid that Rio would bring up things from the past, but she didn't. We spent a lot of time talking and we took a few walks to the beach to lay out. When it was time for her to go, I was a little sad. "Love you, girl." She said as she hopped into her cab. "You too! Give everyone a hug for me." I said waving. I watched her cab pull away. I was relieved to hear from her that everyone was doing great. It made me feel better. I went back into my apartment and made myself a sandwich. As soon as I started eating, there was a knock at the door. I opened it and it was Simon. "Are you moving away?" He asked with a sad look on his face. "Come on in." I said softly. "I'm not sure really." I said. "If I do, it won't be right away." "Robyn, I'm cool with just being friends if that's what you'd prefer." He said. "I mean, especially if you're not sure if you're staying here. It would be stupid of us to get any closer." "I know." I said. "So, what do you want?" He asked. At that moment, I just wanted him. I didn't know what to do. I sighed. "I want too many things that I can't have." I said. "Like what?" He asked. "Or maybe just things I won't let myself have, because I am afraid to have them. . ." I said. "Like me?" He asked stepping closer. I nodded. "Why are you so afraid?" He asked. "I had a problem before with getting close to guys. I was never really sure what I wanted." I explained. "Do you want me, Robyn?" He asked softly as he put placed his hand under my chin. I nodded. "Then what is it you are unsure about?" He asked. "Meeting someone else." I said. "Robyn, I don't think you've ever really been in love." He said. "Maybe not." I said. "When you fall in love, you're not going to see other guys in the same way." He said. I shrugged my shoulders. "I know what I'm talking about." He said. He leaned down and kissed me. "I guess we're just going to have to wonder then. . ." He said. "I'll see you around, Robyn." He left. As soon as the door shut, I started crying. I didn't know whether to run after him or just let him go.
*Chapter Six*
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"Robyn." I heard someone whisper. "Robyn."
I opened my eyes. I had a really bad headache. Connie was leaning over me. She giggled and sat down on the couch at my feet. "You ladies want some coffee?" Trev asked as he walked into the room. I put my hand on my head and moaned. "Get her some water, hun." Connie said. I closed my eyes. "I think we went a little overboard on the Tequila last night." She said as she leaned down and rested her head on my side. I put my hand on her head. "Is that what that was?" I mumbled. The night before was slowly coming back to me. I remembered kissing someone. I was pretty sure it was Simon. "Did I kiss Simon last night?" I asked. She laughed. "Yeah. Quite a bit." She said.
"Oh my god." I sighed.
"What? You like him, don't you?" She asked.
"What am I doing?" I asked.
"I think you're allowed to have a night like that every so often, sweetie." She said.
"Yeah I guess. . ." I said.
Simon walked into the room. "I'm gonna head home." He said. He gave me a kiss. "Can I see you tonight?" He asked.
"I've got plans tonight." I lied with a smile.
"Oh." He said looking dissapointed. "Well, see ya." He said and left.
I sighed. "He'll get over it." She said getting up.
I got up. I heard him say goodbye to Trev, then leave. I was embarassed that I drank so much that I didn't even remember kissing him. I hoped and prayed that I didn't do anything more with him. I grabbed my purse and followed Connie to the kitchen area. "I'm gonna go home." I said.
"Looks like you and Simon are hitting it off." Trev said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know if I'm staying in San Diego." I blurted out. "I thought about it a lot and I'm still not sure if this is where I want to settle down yet."
"What?" Trev asked sounding shocked. "I don't think you realize how much Simon likes you."
"This is about her." Connie said rudly. "Do not think about Simon when you make your decision." She said looking at me. She looked back at Trev. "They're not a couple, hun."
He looked at me. "Yeah, not really." I said.
"What?" He asked again looking confused.
I felt like crying. "I gotta go." I said. I left and I could hear Connie yelling at Trev. I rushed home. I layed back on my bed and started crying. My cell phone started to ring. I looked at it. It was Rio. I picked it up quickly. "Oh my god, Rio." I said.
"Robyn, what's wrong?" She asked, sounding concerned.
"I don't know what I'm doing." I sobbed.
"Girl, please tell me where you are. I miss you. I want to visit. Just for a few days. That's all I ask." She said. It sounded like she was starting to cry.
"I'm fine, Rio. I swear to you. I am fine." I said. "I met a guy."
"Please let me visit." She said. "Even if it's just one night. To hang out."
"Okay. . ." I said. I told her where I lived and she said she was going to get the earliest flight she could. I hung up the phone and fixed up my apartment. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have her visit, but it would be nice to have a person around that knew me really well. I took a nap and woke up late in the day. I felt so much better. I decided to take a walk at the beach. The sun was starting to set after a while. I sat down and watched the surfers catch their last few waves, then head home. One of them started walking towards me. I stood up and realized it was Simon. "Hey you." He said.
I smiled.
"I thought you had plans." He said.
"I do. I have a friend coming to visit. I was just about to go meet her at my apartment." I lied.
"Are we cool?" He asked. "I get the feeling you are avoiding me."
My phone rang and it was Rio. I answered it. "I'm here. In front of your apartment. What number are you?" She asked.
"4C." I told her. "Be right there."
I hung up. "She's here now." I told him.
"Okay." He said. He went running down the shoreline. I watched him for a few seconds, then walked back to my apartment. When I got to my door, there was Rio. Her hair was much shorter and she had lost some weight. I felt like I hadn't seen her in years. She ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Luke misses you so much." She said. She let go of me and we went inside. "It's not much." I said.
"It's great, Robyn." She said smiling. "Come back home, we all miss you."
"Are you just hear for the night?" I asked.
"Yup. Already have a ticket home for tomorrow evening. I know that you are moving on. I'm not going to get in the way of that." She said. "I guess I am just here to check in on you and make sure you are okay."
"I'm doing great." I said.
She smiled really big. "I'm so glad to hear that."
"Thanks, Rio. You're a great friend." I said.
I was afraid that Rio would bring up things from the past, but she didn't. We spent a lot of time talking and we took a few walks to the beach to lay out. When it was time for her to go, I was a little sad. "Love you, girl." She said as she hopped into her cab. "You too! Give everyone a hug for me." I said waving. I watched her cab pull away. I was relieved to hear from her that everyone was doing great. It made me feel better. I went back into my apartment and made myself a sandwich. As soon as I started eating, there was a knock at the door. I opened it and it was Simon. "Are you moving away?" He asked with a sad look on his face.
"Come on in." I said softly.
"I'm not sure really." I said. "If I do, it won't be right away."
"Robyn, I'm cool with just being friends if that's what you'd prefer." He said. "I mean, especially if you're not sure if you're staying here. It would be stupid of us to get any closer."
"I know." I said.
"So, what do you want?" He asked.
At that moment, I just wanted him. I didn't know what to do. I sighed. "I want too many things that I can't have." I said.
"Like what?" He asked.
"Or maybe just things I won't let myself have, because I am afraid to have them. . ." I said.
"Like me?" He asked stepping closer.
I nodded. "Why are you so afraid?" He asked.
"I had a problem before with getting close to guys. I was never really sure what I wanted." I explained.
"Do you want me, Robyn?" He asked softly as he put placed his hand under my chin.
I nodded.
"Then what is it you are unsure about?" He asked.
"Meeting someone else." I said.
"Robyn, I don't think you've ever really been in love." He said.
"Maybe not." I said.
"When you fall in love, you're not going to see other guys in the same way." He said.
I shrugged my shoulders. "I know what I'm talking about." He said. He leaned down and kissed me. "I guess we're just going to have to wonder then. . ." He said. "I'll see you around, Robyn." He left. As soon as the door shut, I started crying. I didn't know whether to run after him or just let him go.
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